How to Ask

How must one ask when the questions unclear?
Every syllable a realization of what we feared.
Lost only to the pride that make our beds.
Pretending the needs only in our heads.

How must one give when they’ve yet to receive?
Engulfed in a constant state of need.
Longing for even an ounce of change.
Praying for miracles no longer seems so strange.

How must one know when an answers been given?
Especially when the questions been hidden.
Looking closer one may disagree.
Perhaps they’re there, we just cannot see.

Venice Hughes

The Headache (Psalms Style)

I approached my bed
Hoping to greet sleep

For my head was pounding
A headache stirred underneath

My vision had blurred
And tears ran down my cheeks

The nausea had crept in
And my stomach fell weak

Fatigue had failed me
I just couldn’t sleep

There was no other choice
I had to find relief

So to the kitchen I went
Following instincts

And found the cure within
A bottle of Rapid Release

Venice Hughes

Just for fun write after being food poisoned yesterday.  Not a good time let me tell you.

The Moments After

It’s like the fire that was lit within
Has dwindled,
Withered,
Faded to oblivion.
Leaving but a trace of who I was
Scattered across photos
My writings,
My loves.
I do not wish to pursue anything
No longer dream of a world
With all of us,
Together,
Peacefully living.
With no worries,
Just time,
Just a place to feel free.
I believed it were possible
If we made it a habit on our knees.
And all would be forgiven
And you’d live to see me succeed.
But for once I feel nothing
And truly feel lost.
Like I had to pay for my security
And you were the cost.
Been so long since a passing
Had hit so close to home.
And the memories keep replaying
Though my heart has grown cold.
Is it normal to feel angry?
Is it normal to feel alone?
Is it normal to blame Him
Even though you chose to go?
Grieving seems unhealthy
When they expect you to be strong.
But how can I hold this family up
If I can’t find the strength to move on?

Venice Renee-Lynn Hughes

Gunner – Street Crime Stories

She said the war had just begun.
That she had been there
Only once.
Laid in mourning, came undone.
For she had lost
Her only son.
She heard the voices.
And the pain they sung.
As they carried their babies
One by one.
No second chances.
What’s done is done.
She waited for justice.
But there were none.
They blamed the founders.
And their “constitution”.
But she blamed those monsters
Holding the gun.
No second chances.
And what’s done is done.
She doesn’t ask for a resolution
She prays for one.

Venice Hughes

The River

 

Sitting along
This dampened path,
Marveling at this beauty
Like diamonds in a glass.
Singing along
To nature’s hum,
Because that’s the way the river runs.
Caressing the breeze
As it flows effortlessly downstream.
It’s there at its edge
Where I rest my feet.
Asking the waters
To set me free.
To transport my misery
From bank to bank.
Wash it clean,
Wash it away.
Give me reason
To carry on.
Traversing these waters
To what lies beyond.
To close my wounds
And ease the pain.
Take this rocky road
And smooth it once again.
To polish my impurities
Against the morning rush.
And help me accept
Those I cannot touch.
Cleanse my spirit,
Cleanse my soul,
Because that’s the way the river flows.

Venice Renee-Lynn Hughes

Breaking Point

 

I’m tired.
Just tired.
But sleep
Has become nothing more
Than a distant memory to me.
Edged alongside what it was
To feel free.
Absent from stress,
Immune to worry,
Just a promising vessel
Vaguely anxious at best.
I’m tired.
So tired.
Too young for this mess.
Single, No kids,
But struggling check after check.
Worried beyond reason,
Trying to retrace my steps.
To understand what brought me here
And what’s to come next.
I’m tired.
SO damn tired.
So tired of this pain.
I almost want to give up
But I’ll be damned
If I do that again.
These are the moments
To cast pride aside.
To shut the door,
Drop down,
And let out a good cry.
It’s OK to breakdown,
It’s OK not to be alright.
It’s OK to ask for help
Instead of the usual “I’m fine”.
To look to the Heavens
Or the one by your side,
And ask for assistance
To ask for advice.
I find myself
On my knees at night.
Praying for guidance,
Some sort of sign.
Then it finally hit me
Out of the blue on day.
Nonchalant in their approach
They offered me a break.
Unbeknownst to them
That the offer they made,
Came right on time,
Perfect timing I’d say.
And I am more appreciative
Then they may ever know.
They delivered that sign,
They gave me some hope.

Venice Renee-Lynn Hughes

Letter To My Enemy

Dear Ms. Unmentionable;
Ms. too good to be true.
Ms. “I can do no wrong”
So I “should probably envy you”.

I dream of that day
When I can finally look you in the face,
And hear you mumble the truth
Of what lead us to this place.

I wanted to let it go
And just put everything in the past.
Write you off as another lesson
But I really have to ask,

Does my intelligence offend you?
Does it not sit well within your core?
That I’m not just satisfied with knowledge
That I possess an incessant thirst for more?

Are you insulted by my resilience?
My ability to smile through the pain?
Or is it because I won’t succumb
That has you cursing out my name?

Are you threatened by my presence?
My very state of being?
Am I in the way of what you want?
Is there something I’m not seeing?

You’ve carried this grudge for years,
Constantly trying to haunt me.
Like I owe you for my success.
Like without you I’d been nothing,

But a pretty face in the crowd
That eagerly walked the halls.
The forgotten child at the table
Who could make no friends at all.

I do thank you for your offer
Those first few hours I was alone.
But I won’t applaud you for MY achievements,
I’ve earned them on my own.

I do hope we get that meeting
To put all this nonsense to rest.
But until then I wish you well
Signed, Ms. Obviously Made You Jealous.

Venice Renee-Lynn Hughes

Sweet Serenity

Shhhh listen,
She is trying to speak to you.
Crash,
Crash,
Gentle crashing of the waves,
Whisper wonders in your ears
As a light mist brushes across your face.
Why must we make it so complicated?
Life that is,
So wrapped up in the now
We tend to forget how beautiful our own voices sound
Peace,
Quiet,
I much prefer the ambiance.
The gentle whistle of leaves flowing in the wind,
Or the rhythmic ticking from the blades of my fan.
It transcends me to a place deep within my mind,
Far, far away from societies tiresome,
Unchanging chime.
No horns blazing
No tempers flaring
No one trying to control me all the damn time.
No children crying,
No fathers dying,
Just me, myself, and I.
This,
This is living.
This paradise transcends beyond the mind
It is here,
Right here.
Right in front of our eyes.
If we can just listen
For she’s within reach,
Playing her song of tranquility.
She needs no hollowed instruments.
She only needs our hearts,
To transgress us into serenity.

Venice Renee-Lynn Hughes

Establishing Tranquil Silence

It’s been a long day
Even longer night
And you step into your sanctuary
A place far from the incessant noise
Left outside by the passersby
With all their problems
On top of yours
You need a break from all the noise
So you step inside
Strip yourself bare
All your worries fall to the floor
It gets quieter as you descend further
Further away from the baggage left at the door
Embracing the cool tile beneath your feet
It’s dark
Too dark
A tranquil light is what you seek
Flipping the switch won’t satisfy you
You need something more natural
So you grab a match
And light a few candles
Scented candles
For your tastes requires more
Much more than just a burning flame
Flickering across the walls
Surrounding your safe haven
You turn the knobs eagerly
Anticipating your sweet release
From the mundane passing of the day
And it hits you
You can feel it now
Feel it all start to slip away
As the steady stream begins to fill
That fiberglass reliever of your everyday strain
The water
So pure
Untainted
Welcomes you
As you slip into the hot bubbling serum
And lean back to let the water cover your aching body
Releasing you from all the clutter
Brought on by this now complicated life
All that remains is to close your eyes
And let it all just fade away
As the last swish and swoosh of the waters subside
You’ve finally transgressed into tranquil silence

Venice Renee-Lynn Hughes

Him

Him
I want him
Not need
But want
Never needed a man for support
Or to make me feel complete
Actually
I don’t believe they can
I don’t believe a man
Any man
Could complete me
Or any woman basically
But he
He complements me
Fills in all the missing pieces
Of who I want to be
He’s amazing
Inside and out
An inspiration to me
Even his flaws appear perfect
Because he lets me be me
We share the same interests
And will kick ass in an Apocalypse
Walking hand in hand
Blasting zombies off the street
He’s silly
Like me
We make no sense
Him and me
But that’s ok
Our approval’s all we need
For he
Is who I want
Not need
But want
Because he complements me
Now I just need him to see

Venice Renee-Lynn Hughes